On Writing

I had the pleasure of spending lunchtime today with my 17-year-old neighbor, S. She's in the process of applying to colleges, and I was reminded of how exciting a time of my life that was. I remember being so happy when I got the acceptance letter from Wake Forest and thinking that this was a new chapter of my life getting ready to begin. And I guess it did, but it didn't go the way I wanted it to.

I know I spend a lot of time thinking about 'new chapters' and 'new beginnings.' I love so much the idea of fresh starts, but I don't do a great job of follow through. I need to do better. I know I tend to be the person who wants to wake up one morning and start a new life, and each week, I do it at least once. Tomorrow is Monday, so maybe it'll be yet another 'Fresh Start Monday.'

One thing I decided today, though, is that I want to spend more time writing. I love to write, and yet I don't do it enough. If I really want to publish a book, I need to write it. It's not writing itself. I love getting lost in the character and her story, and I really love this one I'm writing right now. In some ways she feels real to me, and I want to tell her story before she fades away again. I have a connection with this character that I have never had before, and her story just feels like it needs to be told. So starting tomorrow, I'm going to try to spend an hour a day just writing. Maybe it'll be her story, maybe it'll be a blog post, maybe it'll be something entirely different. But I need to do it to keep up my creativity.

Happy 'Fresh Start Monday' to you!

RIP DJ AM

I don't have a clue why this has upset me so much, but I cannot believe DJ AM died. I'd read things about him, especially after the horrific plane crash he barely survived last year, and it seemed like he was a genuinely awesome human being. He cared about his sobriety, and he cared about others' sobriety. I was so impressed that he'd been sober for so long, and his dedication to helping other people get sober was incredible. I've seen what a drug addiction can do to someone, and that made his recovery that much more impressive.

Something happened to him that we may never know about, and that something made him give it up. I have been wondering all day if this was just the first day of a relapse, or if this had been happening for a few days. Depending on what you read and what conclusions you draw, it seems like he was only using again for a few days at most. Was he angry with himself for giving in? Or was he at a point where he didn't care?

My heard just breaks for him. That he died alone, in a way that I'm sure he would never have wanted to go, makes me so very, very sad. His demons got the better of him, but they are quiet now. May his soul find the peace that he deserves. Godspeed, DJ AM.

How Exciting!

Finish this week's Econ homework. Check.
Finish this week's Writing homework. Check.
Get hair cut and highlighted. Check.
Take 3-hour nap. Check.

All in all, a good Saturday so far. Now I have an entire evening before me, and I have to figure out what to do with it. The good student side of me knows that she needs to spend tonight researching how protectionism in the Chinese economy is affecting the American economy. The side of me that has done homework all day and is a bit over it thinks it would be way more fun to curl up with a good book and save the research for tomorrow. The novelist in me wants to work on the story I've started, and the Wanderlust-filled me wants to research trips to London so Mom and I can spend a week there next year.

I think I'm going to start by eating dinner and reading the book I'm in the middle of (James Clavell's Noble House: an enthralling look at one week in the lives of corporate tycoons in 1960's Hong Kong). If I get inspired, then perhaps I'll work on the novel a bit more. Tomorrow I'll research the Chinese economy, and when I need a break, I'll look at airfare to London.

(Brad's out of town. Can you tell?)

Spring Cleaning

Today is Monday, a day when I should have been at work. Instead, I stayed home with a headache and spent much of the day resting. I couldn't quite sleep because there's too much going on in my head.

The long and the short of it is, I need to do some spring cleaning of my life.

Brad and I got married a little over three weeks ago, and the wedding was all I wanted it to be. It was fun, we had a beautiful day, and when it was over, we went on our fabulous honeymoon. We were so lucky and so blessed to have most of our family and close friends there to celebrate the day with us. I'm looking at this time period as sort of a break in my life: there's the Miss version, and the Mrs. version.

I'm going back to school this summer and taking two of the 10 classes I need to complete my degree. I am so motivated to get this done! I need to finish it; it's been hanging over my head for way too long now. Ten years ago, I should have graduated from Wake Forest University. As it is, I'll be lucky to graduate from the University of Maryland by 2012. But that's okay, because I'm going to get it done.

My former trainer reached out to me this morning, and I'm taking that as a sign. I've gained more weight and I need to lose it for good. I can feel my body deteriorating...all of our (my) hard work has been lost, so it's time to work on it again. I need to look through cookbooks and figure out what food to make, and I need to start working on menus.

Credit card bills continue to be the biggest financial burden I have. I need to make a plan and pay them off. My credit score has been steadily improving, so I need to maintain that trend. I know I can get these things paid off, and once I do, I'll feel better about my financial future.

So, there you have it. I have the same three goals that so many of you out there have, and I'm determined to make some progress on them.